Joy & Plenty » create, love, share

There are plenty of things you need to know before and during a visit to or extended stay at the Emergency room or Hospital.  These are just my observations. I want to start by saying I am NOT an expert in medical care, personal health or diet. I do not always do the right thing and am often a mess to deal with during these situations because of fear or stress. And this is not an exhaustive list, BY FAR. I am sitting here in Neuro Care finally putting to “paper” what I have been thinking about for a year or more. So there are plenty of items I am not remembering or detailing and I may add in the future. You will surely know more or better options or ideas. Each person, each experience is different. These have worked for me. These have made tough situations a little easier to handle. Share with your friends and family or someone you know who might be encouraged. OR be on the lookout for someone in your workplace, church or social circle who is in this tough situation right now (at the hospital) and see if they need something I’ve included below. We always want to help, but maybe all you could do is take them one of these items and/or pray for them. Whatever works for you, I hope this helps someone or several some ones. 😉

THE WORD – The Bible. I could just write that and its pretty self explanatory. But for me, in our experiences, with MY FAITH, it has sustained me. Life giving, heart healing, stress calming, joy restoring, peace covering gifts of truth. Here are a few ways to get that! 🙂

• Read the bible. um, duh. 😉 I have the Bible app on my phone which also has reading “plans” such as “Life after Trauma” etc. Sometimes you will read for hope and sometimes you will just read. Every time I read and scour for comfort I am not going to go “aha!” but MOST times I will glean from it, God will whisper through it, or I will FEEL it…and that, that is the most merciful thing.
• Christian music. (WBGL or iTunes – see my list of inspirational heart healing songs coming soon!)
• Devotions. Incourage, Lysa Tuerkurst + Proverbs 31 Woman, Jesus Calling, or ANY thing like that! Sometimes it will pop up in my daily email or Facebook feed. You can search pinterest with key words like “faith and fear” etc…

LAVENDER OIL – I was always skeptical about what some might call “voodoo” healing, but essential oils work wonders! Lavender is wonderful for calming, rest, and it smells much nicer than the bleach/hospital smell that often can feel suffocating when you are stuck in a patients room or waiting room. I have been known to put a drop on each wrist, rub together and sniff my wrists REPEATEDLY throughout! My dear friend Kim sent this to us this past summer and it has been a life saver!

POWER CORDS, EARPHONES, READING MATERIAL (see my note about valuables though!) I LIVE by my phone and the last thing I need to worry about is running out of battery charge. For this reason, I always carry a cord in my car or a portable charger just in case. This trip I brought my daughters nice noise canceling headphones. Jeff wants to sleep a lot but I cannot just sit in quiet ALL the time. So I can plug into my phone, tablet or laptop and watch netflix or hulu, listen to iTunes or tune into online teaching classes for work. And reading material, that’s just a good thing to have while doing a LOT of waiting. I know we use our phones more now, but sometimes your eyes will need a break from the glow, from the electronics. I love magazines and keep a book handy just for these situations.

HAND LOTION – if you are like me you will be washing your hands constantly and/or using the hand sanitizer that is placed along every wall it seems. Your hands will thank you.  I like all sorts but the one I have come to LOVE is the Perfectly Posh Down with Dirty hand creme because it also has mint and lavender.

And on that note,

WASH YOUR HANDS! You never know what is lurking on door handles, elevator buttons, or even the counters. Hospitals are cleaned regularly but more regularly are visited by VERY sick people and sometimes by sick visitors as well! Its just smart to be smart about germs!

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF – Find out where a shower, bed, vending and prayer/meditation room is…and USE them. Don’t ignore your own basic needs of cleanliness, eating, prayer and sanity! Trust me, people you love will tell you to do this and you will not want to.  Do it anyway. It may come to a point that you will need or HAVE to make decisions you aren’t ready to make, but you will need to be rested, clean and nourished physically, mentally and spiritually as best as you can.

HEALTHY FOOD OPTIONS – Make good food choices. I am NOTORIOUS for bad choices, BUT my best advice from my mother when I am tired or stressed or upset is to make sure I eat fresh fruit + protein (another post coming about this soon! because you can only eat vending machine food so long!) The cafeteria will have several different options and although I am not an expert and do love my Grandma’s peanut butter cookies + diet coke, the good food will sustain you and actually helps your body handle the stress, lack of rest and brain functioning for decision making and processing that you WILL NEED.  I am not saying I don’t emotionally eat or eat conveniently because I do. But I will say that when I choose better foods, I feel better and that is the best choice I can make while I am here with limited control over plenty.

And speaking of taking care of your body…

HYDRATE – get your own water thermos/mug.  Here at Carle, they will bring your patient a mug for water with ice. Not only should you convince, cajole and remind your loved one to stay fully hydrated (good for LOTS of health reasons), you need to do the same for yourself. Sometimes they will even bring one to you if you mention it. Even if its just a styrofoam cup! AND don’t forget to take the cup with you if you move floors, rooms or are admitted from the ER. You don’t need a dozen mugs, but they will provide you with another (which you WILL pay for) so why not get one for yourself too or to take home.

PROTECT YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS – I am STILL sad about the fact that our last stay here, my FAVORITE and slightly expensive shoes were stolen! 🙁 We were switching rooms and carrying bags to follow Jeff to ICU and housecleaning came in and well, the rest is history. Literally, history. No way to find or recover them. Of course a bystander could have snuck in as well and taken them, but take my word for it…DON’T take valuables OR protect them and don’t leave them set out. Hospitals are a public place (unless you are in an isolated area such as ICU where you have to be let in). Even if you are just around the corner in the bathroom, or getting a drink of water. The nurses and staff are there to take care of sick people, not your shoes. 😉

ALLOW HELP – I am very independent, a control freak. I like things just my way. BUT I have learned that sometimes and especially when I am beside Jeff or another loved one in tough medical situations, I have to rely on others. It feels like I am asking too much or expecting others to do things I could do. If family or friends offer to help you or do something, LET THEM. I could say plenty about this, but you get it. Its not weak to let others help you. If they ask, and they shouldn’t ask if they aren’t willing to follow through, then take them up on it. You will be thankful and trust me, it will make them feel like they are helping you. Don’t take advantage, but allow help. Enough said.

SHARE WITH STAFF

• Write your goals: Help them to know what you expect, what you want to know. Tell them that staying informed is important. At Carle, each room has a nice little white board that includes a place to include your feelings and thoughts about what “Excellent Care Means…”
• Give them your cell phone number and another contact number. If you leave the building or go to the cafeteria and they need you or status changes with your loved one, this is key!
• Make friends with nurses AND techs..they do everything!
• Know they are there to help you but you are NOT their only patient/family. This is one of the HARDEST lessons and experiences for me. You will want to be their only priority. That is normal. But if you have to wait a while or they are not responding as quickly as you feel they should it might be because another patient is in really bad shape. Or someone across the hall is “coding” or an elderly person is dying and the family needs answers or a patient is having an episode, throwing up or freaking out. I’m not a nurse and cannot imagine all they do and have to put up with, but there will be times when your patient, your loved one IS that person that is the priority. When all the alarms are going off and everyone on the floor is rushing to your room. And then there will be times when we just feel annoyed or inconvenienced or even ignored. It is frustrating. Don’t be afraid to expect REASONABLE results. Healthcare is tricky. Its unpredictable. Its not an exact science even though we want it to be. But, even as I type this, DO NOT ignore your gut. If your issue, your patent’s status seems worse, different or abnormal and they aren’t responding or seeing it, it is OK to gently push. My one example is this: I was alone with Jeff in a recovery overnight room when he woke up the morning after his appendectomy to just weird confusion.  I knew it wasn’t normal.  I knew it wasn’t just a low blood sugar or something else. I questioned. They didn’t get in a hurry to help. I went TO THE nurses station when no one responded. As I walked quickly back to his room, I heard the nurse tell the other nurse, “oh, she’s just freaking out” and actually I was. And it was a FULL BLOWN MASSIVE STROKE. So after all, it was reason to ignore the politeness and step up as his advocate.

WHICH LEADS me to what I believe is the MOST important point!…

BE AN ADVOCATE for your loved one AND yourself! Ask questions…don’t be afraid to question why they are running tests, what the plan is and put in your two cents. Don’t get IN their way, but don’t be afraid to speak up. This is your loved one. You know them, their history and their wishes better than anyone!